Feb. 17th, 2009

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I feel like hell. This has got to be up there with one of my worst period days in recent memory. This brings me back to the horrors of high school cycles when I usually had to stay home from school it was so bad. At least there's no vomiting and cold sweats this time. I have felt dizzy and nauseous and been in aching/sharp/whooshing/cyclic pain all friggin' day. It's unrelenting. It's hard to focus or even think. I'm dizzy because of the massive blood loss and the painkillers which are only dulling the pain and I'm weak and so so tired and out of my head.

Watched 'Flight of the Red Balloon' tonight. It's kind of a dreamy fade in, fade out, of a family situation in Paris. It's nicely done and sweet and engaging at times but I fell asleep for a bit in the beginning - a bit too much of a fade in, or maybe just too much blood loss. It's a nice movie though, it's just one of those slow-moving ones you have to be in the mood to appreciate. Regardless, Julette Binoche is fantastic as ever.

I've had nothing but weird dreams lately. I've had two dreams in the past few weeks that I am on a plane to New Zealand and have forgotten something, anything. The first time, I didn't have financing finished and tuition wasn't paid but classes were starting the next day and I was on the plane screaming to get off. The next dream was something similar but with a car (not being on one, but having forgotten one). Last night I had a dream that Tudor and I were in some sort of crappy George Lucas on George Lucas film where machines were hunting humans and we were some of the last ones left and then we got distracted by a swimming dog and Tudor got shot and then I volunteered to get shot along with him.

The other night I cried like a baby while watching elephants on television because I find it difficult to believe that such majestic, sensitive, wise, mythical and beautiful creatures exist on this earth.

I'm getting dizzier and weaker. I'm going to go pass out now.

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