lolamatopoeia: (mozflash)
[personal profile] lolamatopoeia
So I've been stressed lately. Yeah, stressed. Here's what been happening in my life:


A little over a week ago, Tudor and I came home from getting groceries and were in great spirits until the dogs decided to each take a quick sniff of the bag of groceries I was unloading into the fridge. It all happened really fast, but Ryder decided that she didn't want Rufus sniffing the food and she snapped at him and they got in a scuffle. I broke them apart and noticed that Rufus had a scratch on him (which turned out to be nothing in the end) and Tudor and I panicked and then I went over to the scared Rufus to see if he was ok and I reached out my hand and *chomp* *chomp*. He latched down hard on my finger and wouldn't let go. When he finally did let go he also took a nice chunk out of my abdomen. The panic quickly switched from worrying about a dog scratch to worrying I'd lose my finger. Tudor took me to the emergency room where we spent the next nine hours. Seriously, nine hours. That sucked. No broken bones and no rabies, and Rufus is fine (happiest quarantined dog ever).

The suckiest part(s) about the whole thing is that now I'm pretty scared of the dog, which is a shame because otherwise he's such a sweetheart - he's just bit me so many times so unpredictably (like, no warning, just flash teeth then BITE) that every time I pet him I feel the need to say "please don't bite me, please don't bite me". I'm really not sure what is so wrong with me that makes dogs feel the need to hate me.

Also, I'm able to bend my finger again but it still really hurts whenever I do and I'm starting to get worried that there's permanent damage and that I'll always have that one wonky finger.

Oh no, wait - the worst part of the whole experience? I had to be on heavy antibiotics and anti inflammatory meds for a full week and both meds carried the side effect of extreme diarrhea. I felt like someone had turned on my ass faucet. It was manageable and amusing for the first day, but now over a week later I am having to apply polysporin to my ass because of the anal tearing and irritation that extreme acid poo brings. Oh, yeah, and antibiotics? For ladies? Yeah, that's right - yeast infection. Awesome. So here I am - antifungal cream on my cooch and antibacterial soothing cream on my ass. I am a delight right now.


I've been checking things off of my to-do list for the trip, which is good. The problem is that I've been so busy checking those things off that I haven't actually starting planning the trip. I mean, I have no idea what I am going to be doing once I actually get off the plane. My dad, knowing this and being a protective dad, yelled and screamed and 'put his foot down' last night because of all of this. Needless to say, that didn't help. At all. It just made me feel worse. I'm the one taking the trip, not him. I'm the one that doesn't know what the hell she doing. I haven't booked my flight yet. What have I been doing instead of planning the trip?
- researching cameras to buy. I decided that taking an slr with me to Asia will be unmanageable for many reasons, so I'd have to bring a compact camera. I started researching compact cameras that would be nice and portable but that would still take good pictures. That's where I got obsessed and overwhelmed. I found out that most of the new compact cameras on the market are crap. It was at this point that I rememebered that I already have a camera smaller than my SLR - my old and trusty nikon coolpix 4500. Yep. I've since decided that I'm just going to suck it up and take the nikon since, although it's heavier and bulkier and slower than the ultra slim cameras on the market, it'll still take better (or at least just as good) pictures than I would get with a new one. Now I just need to obsess over getting a wrist and neck strap for the damn thing.
- researching bathing suits, rain jackets, daybags, clothing, shoes, etc. for the trip in order to distract myself from actually planning the trip.

Oh, and the trip? Yeah, originally I was going to go - Toronto-Vancouver (to visit with my friend Joel for the weekend) and then Vancouver-Seattle (to meet up with Bianca who will be staying in Seattle for the week before) and then Seattle-Bali, Indonesia and start from there. In researching flights with Bianca though, we found out that those route would be extremely expensive. We found out that it would be cheaper to instead go Toronto-Seattle-Bangkok, Thailand, which kind of sucks. Well, I mean saving money is good but I'd be going right into the pit of my worst fears right off the bat - I have a distinct fear of crowds, and Bangkok is apparently going to be chaos. We wanted to fly into Bali first to ease into the experience, but now we're going to go the other way around. Ugh. I'm going to have to just deal with it. This is about me being a more well rounded and adaptable person. Here I go!

I've been in contact with a travel agency and am meeting with an agent at 6 on Thursday to book my flight.


Life is ok lately, but I've been feeling really disconnected from so many things. I can't connect. I haven't been a good online friend lately, and I don't feel like I've been being a good real life friend either - I don't know if it's the meds but I feel constantly distracted. I mean, the great thing with the meds is that I don't dwell so much on things anymore, I'm able to brush things off easier and be more easy going. The downside I'm finding is that it's hard for me to take much of anything seriously - like, when someone's talking to me I can't concentrate on what they're saying and end up just smiling and nodding. I'm turning into some kind of space cadet. Or, maybe it's the stress or the lack of sleep. I've got to take care of that.

It's my last week of work and I'm having soooo much trouble trying to look as though I care every day. The bad thing is that I've been late every day for a solid week and I'm not happy about that - I know it doesn't really matter, but still I don't want to be a jerk.

I have got so much more to post about to catch up on things but this has become way, way, way too long as it is.

Alright, off to take the dogs out and then research camera staps and rain jackets for a few hours.

Oh, wait, I keep forgetting - it's my birthday tomorrow. I'm 27. I'm feeling very old. It's all downhill from here, but I can't recall an uphill. Maybe I'll just keep forgetting and hope other people do too.
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