lolamatopoeia: (Default)
I feel like hell. This has got to be up there with one of my worst period days in recent memory. This brings me back to the horrors of high school cycles when I usually had to stay home from school it was so bad. At least there's no vomiting and cold sweats this time. I have felt dizzy and nauseous and been in aching/sharp/whooshing/cyclic pain all friggin' day. It's unrelenting. It's hard to focus or even think. I'm dizzy because of the massive blood loss and the painkillers which are only dulling the pain and I'm weak and so so tired and out of my head.

Watched 'Flight of the Red Balloon' tonight. It's kind of a dreamy fade in, fade out, of a family situation in Paris. It's nicely done and sweet and engaging at times but I fell asleep for a bit in the beginning - a bit too much of a fade in, or maybe just too much blood loss. It's a nice movie though, it's just one of those slow-moving ones you have to be in the mood to appreciate. Regardless, Julette Binoche is fantastic as ever.

I've had nothing but weird dreams lately. I've had two dreams in the past few weeks that I am on a plane to New Zealand and have forgotten something, anything. The first time, I didn't have financing finished and tuition wasn't paid but classes were starting the next day and I was on the plane screaming to get off. The next dream was something similar but with a car (not being on one, but having forgotten one). Last night I had a dream that Tudor and I were in some sort of crappy George Lucas on George Lucas film where machines were hunting humans and we were some of the last ones left and then we got distracted by a swimming dog and Tudor got shot and then I volunteered to get shot along with him.

The other night I cried like a baby while watching elephants on television because I find it difficult to believe that such majestic, sensitive, wise, mythical and beautiful creatures exist on this earth.

I'm getting dizzier and weaker. I'm going to go pass out now.
lolamatopoeia: (flowery)
For a few days every month, I bleed from my crotch. No, I do not get a 'monthly visit from Aunt Flo' or any 'little friend', I bleed from my uterus as it passes parts of its lining and blood cells through my vagina every month.

Right now, my crotch is bleeding. I don't really have a problem with it, nor do I hold any resentment for it (even back when the bleeding would get so bad I'd be in cold sweats, screaming on the floor and head over the toilet, out of commission for days, passing what looked like alien life forms from my insides), and, having an active sex life I actually look forward to its regularity. Ahem. However much I might say I enjoy the bloody things though, during these red-tinted times I look forward to the blissfuly sanitary feeling of a hard warm shower at least once a day just to keep on top of things. It only makes sense.

And so, this morning as I was about to hop into my much-needed shower, I slipped off my socks and maxi-pad filled panties and dropped them on the light tile floor, I was in a pretty good mood. I stopped for a second to observe the blood-clotted specimen I'd produced, turned my foot and took a step toward the tub. As I moved my body in slow motion from my current position to the shower though, my right foot slid on a towel, throwing me off my axis and forcing my left foot to land directly in the blood-drenched diaper. Squish. I felt my foot get warm and wet instantly and I quickly lifted myself out of the bloody mess but ended up doing a little dance between tub and cupboards that ended with blood splatters and red footprints on light tile floor, light coloured towel, light coloured socks, and a stream of blood running steadily down my leg. A solo menstrual murder scene. Myself and my bathroom were directly confronted, and covered, with my body's feminine defect.

Sometimes you just have to stop and laugh at yourself.
Especially when you're bloody and naked, cleaning your bathroom floor with the shower running and your dog sniffing at the door.


lolamatopoeia: (Default)

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