lolamatopoeia: (Default)
Lately, I've been:
- frequently camping out at school office for peace, quiet and tea.
- making new and great friends and spending time with my ever-lovely sister.
- getting depressed and anxious about the early acceptance letters to PhD programs sent to colleagues/friends/fellow students while my own mailbox remains empty.
- wishing I'd applied to the school which hates me in the city which I hate after witnessing such a huge beckoning/grab in apparently huge program here, at least for the sake of getting in somewhere rather than ending this life as someone's secretary or barista.
- eating discounted Valentine's Day remnants.
- missing cuddles and company, sleeping with a teddy bear and other manufactured mammals for comfort.
- accumulating my hatred for 18th century literature and asshat literary theory ever further.
- (not-so) secretly reading magic realist Canadian Lit. until 3AM when I should be working on presentations.
- sporadically allowing my mind to freak me out about the double-decker seminar presentations I have to perform on Monday and Tuesday, respectively.
- taking out frustrations on sweet and unassuming partner who deserves nothing but praise, support, laughter, kisses, smiles, bed days, and bathtime (among many other things, including woodland adventures!).
- not updating my weblog.

Today:
9:45AM
- Woke up feeling like death after passing out in reading not-so secret books in bed in the early morning.
- put on hat and clothes, biked to school in the rain.

10:30 - 11:30AM
- Met with Professor to talk about my upcoming presentation about cracks, big jugs, blouses and 'one flea spare'. Left her office with a book she loaned to me, knowing I'd met my newest feminist public performance-oriented academic role model.

11:30AM - 1:15PM
- Biked home in the rain in hopes of taking a nap upon couch. Once home, decided to eat junk food and stare into space(/the living room wall) instead.

1:20-2:20PM
- Biked to gynocologist since bloody sex and random cramping isn't as fun as it sounds. The doctor, nurse, and resident there were pleased to inform me (altogether now), after fiddling with and bruising my insides to the point of near tears yet again, that all of tests came up negativo and that the hole they'd cut out of me more than a month ago has (finally/actually) fully healed.  I raised my eyebrow at them, I did.

2:20PM - 4:20PM
- Gave myself a bit of a break. Realized that I'd informed my Professor that I wouldn't be able to attend her class that afternoon because of the expected length of today's appointment, and now that said appointment finished so very early I could actually go home and nap and/or wander around/make myself a healthy meal before my evening class.
- biked around downtown London in the rain because the thought of going to school or work was more depressing than failed presentations and dim futures. Flew by long-lost Meredith on the way.
- bought myself some spices, headbands, candy, cheap winter accessories (hat, scarf/tube like thing, fleece headband/tube like thing), and some slippers which were made to look like dead puppy dogs wearing sweaters.

4:30-6:30PM, 7-10PM
- Biked home in the rain wearing new winter accessories and carrying spices and puppies in a bag. Returned home to find roommates watching Oprah talk about racism, families, and make-up with her guests.
- cooked myself a great dinner for the first time in a long time - a slight replica of Nadine's lovely stirfry and spicy peanut noodles she made for us a few weeks ago.
- biked back to school to watch a movie at 7PM with the film class I assist in, hiding myself in my new hat and developing a slight arousal for handlebar mustaches.

10PM - present 
- Entered office and set up my desk for tea and presentation preparations. Put my feet inside the squishy fabric guts of puppies.
- distracted myself with the evils of wireless internet, pretending to work and feeling guilty about lack of productivity while the effects of little sleep started to set in.
- spilled (no, dumped) my full glass of tea all over the front of my workstation - my lap, my slippers, my books, my papers, my role model Professor's book, and my computer. Her book has little damage save a slight discolouration along the edge while my books are wrinkled, stained, and soaked through, and my computer is doing very troubling things (like retarding the functions of my touchy mouse pad thing and keeping the battery light on as charging when the machine has been plugged in for hours).
- I think it's time to go home.
lolamatopoeia: (halfsmile)
This is how to celebrate Christmas around here. Or, at least, what I did for Christmas (in list form):

For starters:
- come home early from school to see your dog and sleep on a couch.
- get in a brief argument with parents about the lack of heat in sleeping/moping quarters of said couch.
- miss boyfriend enough at times to send intimate pictures, frantic emails, and get a little dillusional.
- actually feel 'at home'.

Christmas Eve:
- be treated to big breakfast by baby-pushing parents and every member of town.
- walk the dog in the rain.
- wrap presents until 3AM.
- wish you were a) cuddling by the fire with someone and a cup of hot chocolate, b) had gone to the Mayor's house with your parents simply for the sake of some entertainment, even if its old yuppy people entertainment, or c) drunk.

Christmas Day:
- wake up early for surprised greetings and hurried showers.
- open lots of wonderful presents.
> pajama pants!
> smelly things to wear and/or burn!
> 'hopeless chest' items - cookware set, stack n' twist containers, cups, christmas ornaments, etc. (shut up, I get
excited about useful stuff)
> booze!
> so much chocolate I could puke!
> so many gift certificates they make you say 'holy cannoli'!
> funky wooden buddha/hawaiian chubby kids bookends from Tudor whose ass cracks make me giggle.
- wonder why the unwrapped gifts included neither socks nor underwear this year. Realize it's because you're 23. But still ...
- pick up boyfriend to fondle and present with presents.
- stuff face with turkey, stuffing, etc. upon etc. upon barf.
- try to walk the turkey off after dinner with little success - end up with a beautiful, snowflake and kiss-filled walk among holiday lights instead.
- forget to remember the rest of the night. Turkey induces horniness followed by comatose state.

Boxing Day:
- wake up early to face the drill squad who instruct you on making cheese ball, ham ball, romakis, cheesecake and lasagna.
- watch 'March of the Penguins' with father and lover. Cry and coo. Desire baby penguin.
- watch your lover charm the heck out of your father by eating his favourite oyster and cheese concoction spread together.
- eat, eat, and eat, among guests.
- watch one of your favourite Christmas movies among group. Find out, for the first time in the 112th viewing, that it is actually Canadian. Love it even more.
- play dominoes for hours and start to win until you switch seats.
- drive sleepy Tudor home late so that he can spend the rest of the night entertaining children.

post-Christmas:
- avoid writing essays and applications.
- stress yourself out over (the anticipation of) essays and applications.
- transfer academic stress to other areas of life for imaginary reasons.
- drink a lot of coffee and steal a lot of internet at Cafe 1842.
- shop to relieve stress - quickly blow a little over a hundred dollars on cheap dvd's and used clothing in a few hours. Hey, the amount of gift certificates I received for giftmas will keep me alive for months - I needed pants and 'Crocodile Dundee', damnit.
- play Scrabble and meet with old friends instead of dominoes on game night.
- get hair cut into the shape of a muffin.
- walk through cemeteries with someone you love.
- repeat.

I should update more often so that I don't have to write such long entries next time. Or not. Everyone loves a list, right? I'm off to go fool myself into appearing productive by staring at books and computer screens for hours without involving flipped pages or typed sentences.
lolamatopoeia: (halfsmile)
I'm going home for Christmas tomorrow, I think.  I get to see my dog! Maybe when I get home I can actually go Christmas shopping. I still have to buy for three or four more people and I'm starting to get a little nervous. I want to punch Martha Stewart, Regis Philbin, et al. in the face for reminding me, yet again, that "it's only one more week 'til Christmas!" just now. Fuck off, morning show hosts.

On Saturday I finished the essay I had been putting off for weeks. If only I could be as productive as I am during my final day of writing during every day of writing. I wrote eight pages in less than eight hours on Saturday, but for five days I had been stuck on page six. Pretty ridiculous. I really should leave myself time to edit my papers too - I can only hope there are no more than a few glaring errors like half-words, unfinished sentences and incorrect 'there/their/they're' usage. I'll cross my legs and fingers that a paper on Flickr as a panopticonic site where self-portrait artists ultimately have no control over their own images, being under an intricate system of surveillance and where participation in the community is a constant shifting of power relations, will make some sense to my Professor the grader. We shall see. I'll just worry about being more efficient on the writing of the next two - at least, for them, I'll have my dog beside me at home for help.

I returned home grumpy on Saturday night after dropping off my essay, and Tudor was naked in the kitchen cooking dinner. You can't get much better than that. My mood soon switched to the positive and my stresses of the day melted away until we were cuddled on the couch with tea and French cinema.

Yesterday Tudor played hookie from work, claiming something about a plane crash and a comatose state, and we spent most of the day never leaving each other's arms. It may have been the best day off ever. Eventually needing some fresh air and eggs, we travelled down the street in the late afternoon to the geriatric mall/Cherrhill Village Mall where Christmas displays have been placed near benches where they twitch and sing and generally freak people out. Later on, after we filled our bellies with some roasted chicken and during a few Christmas movies (and a Canadian short entitled 'Turkey'), I sat down to decide on my future for the next five years. I decided on setting certain hopes on Toronto, Hamilton and Montreal. Today I shall begin getting the application process underway, or maybe just avoid it a li' bit longer. We shall see how this one turns out. There's always Starbucks for the ridiculously over-educated.

Tudor should be coming home soon. He's quitting his job today in favour of a prospective job that won't kill his mind and soul, and in moving back to a city that won't make him want to run into oncoming traffic (like me). I should go and get dressed soon.

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July 2009

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