loosing my nail beds
May. 31st, 2009 10:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lolamatopoeiaI've been maintaining a google doc spreadsheet of 'things to do' and 'things to bring' for my SE Asia trip and have slowly been checking things off. Ah, spreadsheets and lists and checkmarks. So satisfying for my slightly a-type tendencies (probably ingrained from my administrative day job). Things are slowly getting done. I get my shots next week, and I've just got to send in some school things, get medical insurance, free up some financing and get the rest of my gear. I'm starting to get pretty excited, and pretty damn scared too. Woo! ?
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In other scary news, the sweet dog we're dogsitting for some sweet owners this summer took a chunk out of my arm this morning. Apparently, smiling and petting him on the head while he sits on the top of the stairs makes him go from zero to bite your bicep in nano seconds because I didn't see that one coming. That sucked, and it still sucks because my arm is really really fucking sore and bleedy and I've never been afraid of dogs before but this one's just ... unpredictable. Tudor and I have been reading up on this behaviour, since his snapping at us has been pretty random and scary and weird, and apparently this kind of behaviour is pretty common with the breed. It's not his fault, he's a great dog. It sucks. I'm just keeping my distance and not giving him free pets anymore. His teeth just kinda scare me right now.
Don't worry though, Phil and Danielle. I'm ok, and we still love Rufus.
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I finally broke my reader's block a few weeks back with the help of Neil Gaiman. I finally picked up some of his work and I love it. Love it.
____________
I've been thinking a little lately about what I want to do and where I want to be eventually, and I've been circling more and more around this image I have of myself where I'm doing something creative, where I'm my own boss, either writing or painting or making things with my hands, somewhere surrounded or near to farm fields and within a safe distance where I can bike into/around a little village, or reasonably sized city full of culture and character, where I live out the rest of my life telling (or writing) stories about all of the places I've been and the things that I've seen. I've got kids, and animals, a house I take care of, excellent friends who visit often and family within a good distance (or at least close to the heart). My house is an open door and I entertain and laugh often. I get excited and inspired by things around me and things I imagine. I write, I create, I get involved in my life and with others. I'm active. I make a name for myself. The sun shines. I love and am loved. I know that all of that might seem a bit silly and idealistic, or, I don't know. That's just my idea of happiness, and I've got to do my part to try to achieve some of that.
______________
Oh, and I gave my notice on Thursday! Yeah, I know! It was really awkward for me, and I wish that I would have done it sooner since my supervisor was really good about it. It would have been good of me to have given her more notice, but I didn't even know my realy plans until a few weeks ago. We're going to make the official announcement to the rest of the office at our next meeting on June 5th, so she asked me not to tell anyone else until then. Argh. It's all a bit odd now since I've told a few people in the office already (or told them months ago) but they don't know that anyone else knows and so on and the rumours are starting to trickle around. It's all very awkward. I think I've got a lot to learn about professional integrity after this. I've also got a lot more of getting back some confidence, assertiveness, adaptability, and self respect after this. In any case, two weeks to go at the office though, hey hey!
___________
In other scary news, the sweet dog we're dogsitting for some sweet owners this summer took a chunk out of my arm this morning. Apparently, smiling and petting him on the head while he sits on the top of the stairs makes him go from zero to bite your bicep in nano seconds because I didn't see that one coming. That sucked, and it still sucks because my arm is really really fucking sore and bleedy and I've never been afraid of dogs before but this one's just ... unpredictable. Tudor and I have been reading up on this behaviour, since his snapping at us has been pretty random and scary and weird, and apparently this kind of behaviour is pretty common with the breed. It's not his fault, he's a great dog. It sucks. I'm just keeping my distance and not giving him free pets anymore. His teeth just kinda scare me right now.
Don't worry though, Phil and Danielle. I'm ok, and we still love Rufus.
____________
I finally broke my reader's block a few weeks back with the help of Neil Gaiman. I finally picked up some of his work and I love it. Love it.
____________
I've been thinking a little lately about what I want to do and where I want to be eventually, and I've been circling more and more around this image I have of myself where I'm doing something creative, where I'm my own boss, either writing or painting or making things with my hands, somewhere surrounded or near to farm fields and within a safe distance where I can bike into/around a little village, or reasonably sized city full of culture and character, where I live out the rest of my life telling (or writing) stories about all of the places I've been and the things that I've seen. I've got kids, and animals, a house I take care of, excellent friends who visit often and family within a good distance (or at least close to the heart). My house is an open door and I entertain and laugh often. I get excited and inspired by things around me and things I imagine. I write, I create, I get involved in my life and with others. I'm active. I make a name for myself. The sun shines. I love and am loved. I know that all of that might seem a bit silly and idealistic, or, I don't know. That's just my idea of happiness, and I've got to do my part to try to achieve some of that.
______________
Oh, and I gave my notice on Thursday! Yeah, I know! It was really awkward for me, and I wish that I would have done it sooner since my supervisor was really good about it. It would have been good of me to have given her more notice, but I didn't even know my realy plans until a few weeks ago. We're going to make the official announcement to the rest of the office at our next meeting on June 5th, so she asked me not to tell anyone else until then. Argh. It's all a bit odd now since I've told a few people in the office already (or told them months ago) but they don't know that anyone else knows and so on and the rumours are starting to trickle around. It's all very awkward. I think I've got a lot to learn about professional integrity after this. I've also got a lot more of getting back some confidence, assertiveness, adaptability, and self respect after this. In any case, two weeks to go at the office though, hey hey!
