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lolamatopoeiaI had an appointment today with my gynecologist scheduled for 1:15pm. Since I won't be out of my apartment for the next few days (in lieu of essay cramming) I decided that I would also pick up an early graduation present for myself at my favourite woman-owned, women-run, women-friendly, women-centred sex shop, Libido. If you're ever in London, I highly recommend it. They only sell the best quality stuff, they'll talk to you for as long as you'd like and help you find the product that is best for you. All of their products are out on display so you can see and touch them and it's a generally very warm and friendly atmosphere. I've always left there with a smile, and I've never felt dirty and in need of a shower after walking away (unlike with some places, ahem, Stag Shop, fucking hell). In any case, I had a great chat with the owner for a while, we held some dildos together, then she wrapped up my new friend in wine-coloured tissue and placed it in a gold bag. I walked out a very happy woman as I headed for my appointment.
I got lost in the hospital hallways again looking for my doctor. When I finally got there I ended up sitting in the waiting room for an hour with ten other women watching television since he was late. It wasn't so bad, for a while the channel was on Antiques Roadshow, which is kickass. When the nurse called my name and led me into the next room (the one with the stirrups), where she ordered me to take off my pants, I told her that I wanted to get a chance to ask the doctor about birth control options since I am hoping to get off of hormonal birth control soon. I'd rather not have synthetic hormones going through my system (and producing chemical withdrawal bleeding instead of an actual period), and I'd like to talk about my options.
Fine, good. My pot-bellied doctor and his two young clean-shaven Med students walk in a few minutes later - the Med students lean against the wall, my doctor sits near my feet, and I, bare-assed on the table with my feat resting on the stirrups, start talking about birth control.
I explain to him that I'd rather not be on hormones anymore because I am concerned with what they are doing to my body. I went on them originally both because my periods were horrendous and because it seemed to be the easiest method of contraception when I became sexually active. Now I am concerned that these chemicals may be merely covering up what was causing my excessive bleeding and not fixing the (possibly serious) problem, and I have to believe that there must be some other form of preventing babies that won't wreck havoc on my body. I am, however, nervous because the pill has been so easy and effective in the whole no-baby department and it will be odd to go back to condoms when I am in a long-term monogamous relationship but just don't want kids right now. I'll likely get a diaphragm to use as back-up because I am paranoid, but I have also heard some things about IUD's (even though right now, they really kind of scare me).
"Have you had kids?"
"No"
"Oh, well then I wouldn't recommend an IUD - if you get an infection with one it could go into your ovaries and damage your ability to reproduce, so I wouldn't give it to someone whose fertility hadn't been tested."
"Oh, ok. Yeah, I was just kind of scared of that also b/c I've heard that the non-hormonal one can make you bleed even heavier on your period, and that's something I'd like to avoid".
"Yep"
"Also, my Mom got one put in before she had me and it ended up tearing through her womb, causing her to hemorrhage, and the doctors eventually found it after fishing through her intestines on the operating table".
"That's just weird".
"Is it? Alright, so I guess what you're saying is that my only choice outside of hormonal birth control are condoms and diaphragms?"
"Yep. (leans back and crosses arms) You also have to remember that condoms and diaphragms have about a 10% failure rate, while the pill has about a 1% failure rate, so that's also something you'd have to consider."
"But I don't want the hormones"
"Yes, well..."
"Coupling condoms and a diaphragm together though would help close that gap, though, right? Also, I was thinking of also using the Fertility Awareness Method in addition to the barrier methods"
"Yeah, the Catholics like that method because it has a 40% failure rate, hyuk hyuk".
"Hmm, alright (holding back tears of frustration). So, I guess, as far as the wacky menstrual cycle stuff goes then, I was planning on trying to balance it holistically with things like diet, exercise and vitamins/supplements, etc, so that should work alright, yes?"
"Yeah, lots of women go off the pill and they forget what their real periods were like, but then they soon go back on it again once they realize what they're up against (smirk)".
"(smile to hide depression, frustration and anger)"
"Oh, also - I think I have a tilted uterus, and ..."
"So?"
"So I'm worried about the effectiveness of the diaphragm with that"
"Nah, I wouldn't worry about that. It doesn't matter. I can get you fitted for a diaphragm here ..."
"I'm moving to Guelph next month"
"Oh, well then you can get it fitted in Guelph - any doctor there can do it, it's not that hard."
"Oh."
Soon he has me spreading my legs at the knees and he's shoved a speculum and a camera up inside me so his Med students can take a look at my cervix as well on the video screen. I can't watch. The procedure always hurts and I try to laugh with them at their jokes to get over the pain. They speak about my womb in medical terms I don't understand and ask me to close my legs. 'All done', the doctor says, throwing the bloody speculum in the waste bin.
"You know, they have a great Stag Shop right across from one of the hotels in Guelph, if you ever need to ... I mean not that I would know", he says with a grin and a laugh. Stunned silence. The Med students chuckle. "Oh, ha ha," I nervously let out a laugh, "is that right?" He and the rest of the doctors leave chuckling amongst themselves. The door closes and I pull up my pants.
I really need to get myself a female gynecologist (or at least someone who's not such a dick).
I got lost in the hospital hallways again looking for my doctor. When I finally got there I ended up sitting in the waiting room for an hour with ten other women watching television since he was late. It wasn't so bad, for a while the channel was on Antiques Roadshow, which is kickass. When the nurse called my name and led me into the next room (the one with the stirrups), where she ordered me to take off my pants, I told her that I wanted to get a chance to ask the doctor about birth control options since I am hoping to get off of hormonal birth control soon. I'd rather not have synthetic hormones going through my system (and producing chemical withdrawal bleeding instead of an actual period), and I'd like to talk about my options.
Fine, good. My pot-bellied doctor and his two young clean-shaven Med students walk in a few minutes later - the Med students lean against the wall, my doctor sits near my feet, and I, bare-assed on the table with my feat resting on the stirrups, start talking about birth control.
I explain to him that I'd rather not be on hormones anymore because I am concerned with what they are doing to my body. I went on them originally both because my periods were horrendous and because it seemed to be the easiest method of contraception when I became sexually active. Now I am concerned that these chemicals may be merely covering up what was causing my excessive bleeding and not fixing the (possibly serious) problem, and I have to believe that there must be some other form of preventing babies that won't wreck havoc on my body. I am, however, nervous because the pill has been so easy and effective in the whole no-baby department and it will be odd to go back to condoms when I am in a long-term monogamous relationship but just don't want kids right now. I'll likely get a diaphragm to use as back-up because I am paranoid, but I have also heard some things about IUD's (even though right now, they really kind of scare me).
"Have you had kids?"
"No"
"Oh, well then I wouldn't recommend an IUD - if you get an infection with one it could go into your ovaries and damage your ability to reproduce, so I wouldn't give it to someone whose fertility hadn't been tested."
"Oh, ok. Yeah, I was just kind of scared of that also b/c I've heard that the non-hormonal one can make you bleed even heavier on your period, and that's something I'd like to avoid".
"Yep"
"Also, my Mom got one put in before she had me and it ended up tearing through her womb, causing her to hemorrhage, and the doctors eventually found it after fishing through her intestines on the operating table".
"That's just weird".
"Is it? Alright, so I guess what you're saying is that my only choice outside of hormonal birth control are condoms and diaphragms?"
"Yep. (leans back and crosses arms) You also have to remember that condoms and diaphragms have about a 10% failure rate, while the pill has about a 1% failure rate, so that's also something you'd have to consider."
"But I don't want the hormones"
"Yes, well..."
"Coupling condoms and a diaphragm together though would help close that gap, though, right? Also, I was thinking of also using the Fertility Awareness Method in addition to the barrier methods"
"Yeah, the Catholics like that method because it has a 40% failure rate, hyuk hyuk".
"Hmm, alright (holding back tears of frustration). So, I guess, as far as the wacky menstrual cycle stuff goes then, I was planning on trying to balance it holistically with things like diet, exercise and vitamins/supplements, etc, so that should work alright, yes?"
"Yeah, lots of women go off the pill and they forget what their real periods were like, but then they soon go back on it again once they realize what they're up against (smirk)".
"(smile to hide depression, frustration and anger)"
"Oh, also - I think I have a tilted uterus, and ..."
"So?"
"So I'm worried about the effectiveness of the diaphragm with that"
"Nah, I wouldn't worry about that. It doesn't matter. I can get you fitted for a diaphragm here ..."
"I'm moving to Guelph next month"
"Oh, well then you can get it fitted in Guelph - any doctor there can do it, it's not that hard."
"Oh."
Soon he has me spreading my legs at the knees and he's shoved a speculum and a camera up inside me so his Med students can take a look at my cervix as well on the video screen. I can't watch. The procedure always hurts and I try to laugh with them at their jokes to get over the pain. They speak about my womb in medical terms I don't understand and ask me to close my legs. 'All done', the doctor says, throwing the bloody speculum in the waste bin.
"You know, they have a great Stag Shop right across from one of the hotels in Guelph, if you ever need to ... I mean not that I would know", he says with a grin and a laugh. Stunned silence. The Med students chuckle. "Oh, ha ha," I nervously let out a laugh, "is that right?" He and the rest of the doctors leave chuckling amongst themselves. The door closes and I pull up my pants.
I really need to get myself a female gynecologist (or at least someone who's not such a dick).
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 02:15 am (UTC)I had similar problems with the whole BC thing- doctors kept pushing the pill and after 6-7 years on it I just wasn't happy with it. I even tried switching to a mini-pill, but that sucked even worse. Just condoms is working out fine for me- remember, the day-after pill is available over-the-counter here, should there be a condom malfunction.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 03:08 am (UTC)It's encouraging to know that another long-term, monogamous couple uses condoms just fine. I feel weird about going back to condoms after all this time and I'm paranoid about their effectiveness in the long term, so yeah, it's good to know that other people can make it work as well. It's also good to know about the emergency contraception too! Phew, that helps the baby paranoia :). Thanks for the support, lady!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 01:54 pm (UTC)Re: condoms! My mother (of all people) told me that she and my Dad used nothing but condoms until they had my brother (who was planned)- so that's about 4-5 years of sex-making, with no accidental babies. I do still worry about baby-ness from time to time, but like I said before, I know there's the morning-after pill in case a condom breaks, and then it's just a case of being careful about condom usage.
I'm so so happy now that I'm off BC pills. I feel so much more myself, and I don't seem to be crazily gaining more and more weight, the mood swings are almost gone, and having my period off the pill isn't particularly bad. I've heard great things about the FAm method- it's actually an incredibly low failure rate when used properly (and I think if you used it with condoms you'd be pretty damn safe). The only thing is that you have to remember to keep track of everything everyday. That's about where I decided that it's maybe not the best method for me! I can barely track my period. But, you can also use online tools to help you track your cycle!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 02:19 pm (UTC)As I mentioned in the rant, I'd also much rather have a genuine period - the thing that's really made me angry is finding out that the pill actually takes away your entire cycle altogether - that, when the pills were being developed in the 60s, scientists included 'withdrawal bleeding' (that supposed 'period' you get at the end of a pill pack/during placebo week is just your body telling you it's getting rid of the chemicals) in order for it to appear natural, as if you had a cycle, and to reassure you that you're not pregnant (which has led to all this talk now of women being able to eliminate their periods altogether, when it's more like 'haha, we took away your period a long time ago!'). My doctors didn't tell me any of this, and I'm very angry about that. Call me crazy, but I actually want my period - to me, it's a sign of health and fertility - if my period's out of whack, it's my body telling me something that I should be paying attention to and not just some 'curse'. Fuck, I'm really angry about that! Sorry, /rant.
As far as FAM goes, I'm going to have to do one heck of a lot more research on it since we're pretty skeptical about the method right now - it's just hard to trust, I guess. I'll start charting after I go off the pill, while using barrier methods, and see how it goes - it'll take me quite a while to feel confident with it, I think.
I am really looking forward to going off the pill, having a period and a normal cycle again, and getting back to feeling more 'myself'. Thanks again for the support pretty lady :).
no subject
Date: 2006-08-19 05:18 am (UTC)Not only was his conduct questionable, it was completely unprofessional (in my opinon)
I went to the website, just to see what info they had for filing a complaint (i was outraged just reading your post) and found the following info:
WHAT KINDS OF CONCERNS DOES THE COLLEGE ADDRESS?
The College reviews a wide range of concerns that are raised by patients. Complaints of a sexual nature may include complaints about:
privacy and respect
inappropriate comments or gestures
unnecessary or improper physical examinations
sexual contact or assault
and I truly belive that his comments after your exam fall under the inapproprate catagory.
As far as feeling that you 'could have said something at the time' i dont think that should be a reason -not- to report it. Just reading what happend my jaw drapped and I was left speachless, couldnt imagine being able to say something at the time!!
-call them- and tell them what happened... it shouldnt go unreported. I just moved to London and I sure as hell dont ever want to see that doctor if that is how he treats his patients. And who knows, maybe this isnt the 'first time' something inapproprate has happened with this DR (shudders)
no subject
Date: 2006-08-19 06:37 pm (UTC)If you'd like, I can email you (or you can email me, leby26[at]hotmail) with his name so that you can be sure to never to have him as your doctor!